xxxHOLiC Christmas Special: Watanuki's 'gift!
by Spontaneous Muse
Summary: Christmas Special! Watanuki hates Christmas, If Yuuko gives him a gift, he KNOWS he's going to have to repay it in some way.... see what happens to the poor guy in this halarious one-shot! PS: No offence is intended to Christians and any Santa-believers.


Heyy, Alei writing again. I haven't made much lately, and yes, I am still writing Cherry Blossoms! I figured since it's the holidays, I'd write a little one-shot.

* * *

"What is it?" Himawari asked Watanuki. He shifted his blue eyes from the window to Himawari.

"Its. The. Snow."

"The snow? What's so bad about that?" Himawari gazed outside. "It's beautiful! The whole world looks different, and it's a great time of year!"

"Yeah… I know that…" He sighed. "That's the problem."

"You don't like the cold?"

"No, I don't like the _holiday_."

"What?" Himawari looked surprised. "But… Its Christmas!"

"That's the point."

"I thought you liked Christmas…." Himawari hung her head. "Last year, you were jumping up and down singing 'its Christmas! Its Christmas! Time to buy gifts for all my friends and Himawariii!"

Watanuki blushed visibly. "Well yeah, but last year I wasn't employed!"

Himawari laughed. "Whats so bad about that? So you have to buy one more present for Yuuko…"

"Exactly! You do realize whats going to happen when she gives me a gift? 'I'll require compensation for this.'" He imitated bitterly. "'and also, can I have a big sake and a holiday feast?'"

"I don't think its that bad." Himawari said.

"But Christmas is about giving…. And Yuuko will make me pay for whatever she gives me….."

* * *

"Im not giving you anything for Christmas." Yuuko said flatly.

"Your… not?"

"No." She rolled her eyes. "You do realize, if you accept 'Christmas' as a holiday, your basically giving in the whole 'Christian' façade, which means parading around, leaving cookies out, and believing in a fat man sliding down your chimney."

"Fat guy sliding down the chimney!" Maru and Moro chanted.

Watanuki felt his jaw drop. "But… not giving me a gift would mean I don't have to work overtime for you!"

"Oh, I can give you a gift whenever I want." Yuuko smiled. "Like so!" She handed him a large, oversized box with a colorful ribbon on top.  
'Yuuko! I thought you weren't giv-"

"Hush, boy. I didn't say this was for Christmas, did I?"

"Bu-"

"No buts!" She snapped. "Naturally, since I am giving you something, I require compensation…"  
"I AM NOT GIVING YOU COMPENSATION!" Watanuki fumed. "You can't just force a gift onto me for no reason!"

"Well then, I'll take back this gift." She raised her hands and lifted the box easily. "Shame, I knew you would enjoy what was inside…"

"What was it?" Watanuki asked, curious.

"Well now, I can't tell you can't I? After all, its not yours anymore!" Yuuko laughed gleefully.

"How much sake have you drank already?" He asked without thinking. Yuuko slapped him daintily. "Do not speak ill of your employer."

"Hmph! Fine. I'll take the present. What do you want as compensation?" Watanuki grumbled, rubbing his cheek.

"Well, I want you to take these-" She took two large bags and plopped them down beside him, "-to each of the labeled addresses. They're gifts." She added, as she watched Watanuki's eyebrow raise. "You should know most of them, so be a good boy, and get to it!"

"But what about them? What will they have to do as compensation? Why are you torturing me and not them??" He whined.

"Well, you're my employer, and I'm your boss. I'm almost entitled to work you more than others!" She laughed. "Now go! Quickly! Before I decide to take back your gift!"

"FINE!" Watanuki grumbled, grabbing the bags and lifting them idly.

"He's such a good boy. He'll definitely enjoy my gift!" Yuuko smiled daintily.

* * *

"First address…. Domeki?!" Watanuki yelled, as he gazed at the top of the first bag. "What is this???" He grouched. "UGH! I hate this holiday!" He tretched across the snow to the temple.

"Hello?" Domeki asked, sliding the door open as Watanuki waited. "Oh. What do you want?"

"I don't want anything from you!" Watanuki squealed. "Its Yuuko who does!"

Domeki withdrew the finger stuffed in his ear, which he instinctively stuck in as Watanuki began to talk. "Oh. What does _she_ want?"

"She _wants _you to have this." He reached in and gave him the box. Domeki took it and read the card.

"Hi Domeki. I realize that this may come across as a Christmas gift, but since I do not believe in a fat man sliding down a chimney, I've decided to get Watanuki to give you a gift, in the place of what you would normally receive. I hope you enjoy it, and the only compensation I require from this, is…" Domeki stopped reading.

"WHAT?" Watanuki asked. "What does she want?"

Domeki gazed back at him. "This." He reached over and slapped Watanuki.

"OW? WHAT THE HELL?!" He yelped. 'Yuuko already slapped me once!"

"That's what it says on the card." Domeki replied.

"Oh right! What a perfect excuse you little-" Domeki slapped him again. "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"It says here… 'if Watanuki complains of your compensation, please slap him again, and tell him its from me for not properly accepting compensation. And also tell him it's a good start to accepting how our world goes around, even if compensation is something you don't enjoy, on either end. Yuuko." Domeki closed the card and turned around. "See you."

"See yo- HEY! You didn't apologize ye-" the door slammed in his face. "OOOHH! What is that witch playing at?"

He started to trek his way back through the snow. "Ugh, I hate this…. I get slapped three times, and I don't even know what my present is…"

"Next… Ame-warashi. Oh… great…"

"Yeah? What do you want?" Said a rather hostile voice behind him.

"You've got to be kidding me…." Watanuki turned around, and saw the red-haired rain sprite leaning in.

"You called my name, so what do you want?"

"Uhh, nothing! Its just Yuuko who wants something!" He dug through the bag quickly and withdrew the present.

"Oh? What's this?" Ame-Warashi took the gift and looked at the card.

"You know, maybe you can just read the card later…. At home…. Yeah?" Watanuki asked hopefully.  
"You should know, us rain-sprites are nomads! We don't have a permanent home." She scoffed. "But since you so kindly asked…" She grabbed the card and flipped it open.

"Wahh? NO!!!" Watanuki groaned. Ame-warashi began to read.

"Dear Ame-warashi.

This may seem a little strange but this gift is not for this silly holiday. Instead, I wish you a happy new year and enjoy the gift I've bestowed. My compensation for this is simply…." Ame-warashi raised an eyebrow. "What? This is just silly…"

She looked up. "Hey, no hard feelings, kay?"

"No hard feelings about wh-"

Ame-warashi took her umbrella and whacked Watanuki on the head.

"WHAT? CAN YOU NOT?"

"Its in the card." She gestured to the card she was holding, and held it out so he could read it.

'Whack Watanuki with your umbrella? That will do. Best regards, Yuuko.'

"This… is totally unfair!" Watanuki complained.

Ame-warashi opened her umbrella by shaking it. "Well, if that's all, I think I'm going to go find Zashiki-warashi and open the gift with her."

"Oh… kay… Tell her I said hi…." He lifted the bags.

"Sure, whatever. Merry Christmas." She said, completely not in the mood, as she began to dissolve into water.

"Oww, my head really hurts.. How many do I still have to do?" He stared at the two bags. "UGH! I HATE CHRISTMAS!"

* * *

Watanuki spent two hours going to each house delivering gifts. For some reason all of Yuuko's compensation was to somehow hurt Watanuki. As he continually got beaten for no apparent reason, he was starting to get very intolerable with her actions.

"This is it! I can't feel my cheeks, or my face for that matter!" he grumbled, as he stumbled towards Himawari's house. "I don't know what Himawari is going to say when she sees this!"

"Watanuki? Is that you?" Himawari sounded surprised. 'You look…. Different."

"Gee, you think? I'm bruising in places I didn't think I should be able to bruise in!" He sent down one bag, with it only containing two gifts. He threw out the other bag as he handed out all the gifts stowed inside.

"Why do you look so… beat up?"

"Yuuko. She's making me deliver her gifts, and all of the compensation involves hurting me in some shape or form.."

"Oh! I hope you didn't get hurt too bad…" Himawari touched his cheek gently. Watanuki blushed. "Your cheek is…. turning black." Himawari commented. Watanuki blushed even harder, but this time out of frustration.

"Well anyways, here's your gift." He took out a small box wrapped in yellow, the same color as her bird.

"Thanks Watanuki!" She said, and opened the card.

"I was hoping you wouldn't do that until you went inside the house…" Watanuki sighed, as Himawari began to read:

"Dear Himawari, I chose the wrapping foil due to Tanpopo. I hope you enjoy your gift, which is not in any way a Christmas present. As payment, I require you to…." She laughed.

"What did it say?" Watanuki paled. "Hit me? Slap me? Step on my foot? Take a tree-branch and whack me with it?"

"No," she said, still giggling. "It says to flick you, fifty times."

"…. Flick." He said, feeling dumbfounded.

"Yes, on your cheek." She said, still giggling.

"Wait… WAIT!" He yelled as Himawari began to flick him.

"That-ow-was-ow-the-ow-cheek-ow-that's-ow-bruising-OW!" He yelled, as the pain grew steadily harder.

"I have to, sorry Watanuki!" She said, as she began to flick him softer.

After standing there like an idiot, being flicked by his crush, he let out a long sigh as she finally completed her flicks.

"Done?"

"Yeah. Sorry! You know, you should probably get something to put on it, since it looks pretty bad." Himawari smiled. "See you around!"

"Bye Himawariii!" He sang. As soon as she closed the door, he sagged. "If I last that long…"

He stared at the last box, and was surprised by the address. "Kohane?" He said quietly. He lifted the now-very light bag, and proceeded to the fortune-teller's house.

"Hello?" Said a quiet voice from the door. "Oh, Watanuki… hi." Kohane slid the door open.

"Hi Kohane, mind if I come in?"

"Not at all." She stepped back as Watanuki came in and took off his shoes. "Presents from Yuuko?"

"Yes. For you, actually."

"For me…?" Kohane gave a brief hint of a smile. "Really? This would be my first Christmas gift…"

"Its not for Christmas…"

"A gift either way…" She said, taking the neatly wrapped box, and read the card.

"I really didn't want you to do that right off the- OW!" Watanuki squealed as Kohane punched him in the gut, still reading the card. "Sorry." She said absently, her eyes still flying across the paper. "Well, that's the compensation." She looked up, and took in Watanuki's presence. "You don't look well."

"Well, I just had to deliver like.. 80 gifts, some strangers, and they all had to hurt me in some way as compensation!"

"You should rest a while." Kohane offered.

"I should be getting back actually, I still have work."

"Another time then." Kohane allowed a little smile. "tell her I say thank you."

"I will, if I don't murder her first." He grumbled. Kohane watched as he slipped on his snow-covered shoes. "Bye!"

* * *

"Ah, your back." Yuuko watched as a beaten-up Watanuki stumbled into the shop.

"IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?" Watanuki yelled in her face, making Yuuko's long hair fly.

"Its merely all the compensation." She smiled. "Now, your gift, I'm sure you want to open it."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" He ran to the living room, where Mokona, Maru, and Moro were waiting. "Open open!" they all chanted. Watanuki gazed at his large, 50 x 50 cm box. "Alright, here I go!" He tore off the wrapping to find…. More wrapping. As he tore away, he began to go through a lot of paper. "What is this?!" He yelled, as the pile of scraps grew bigger.

He finally reached the bottom, and saw a small tube lying amidst all the heaps of paper.

"SURPRISE!" Yuuko and co. yelled in unison. He picked up the miniature tube, smaller than his finger, and read the fine-print.

"All purpose healing cream, in just five minutes get rid of the bruises and cuts…" He lifted the 'present'. "Wait. What? I expected something bigger."

"Oh, I just had left over wrapping paper, so I decided to make yours with a lot of extra wrappings!" Yuuko smiled. "And now with that, you can stop looking like a swollen beehive!"

"But theres only JUST enough to heal all of my wounds!" Watanuki fussed. Then it hit him. "you… planned this the whole time…?"

"Well, I can't be bothered by delivering 80 gifts to all of my friends, now can I?"

"THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR!"

"and that's life for you!" Yuuko clapped delightedly. "Now for dinner, I want…"

Watanuki zoned out as Yuuko raised a finger and began to list off enough food for a holiday feast. "_I really… really… hate Christmas…_"

-----

Haha!

That was really fun to write. I was making it up as I went along, but in the end I think it was pretty funny and matched all the characters! (well Kohane may be a little off…)

MERRY CHRISTMASSS!

-Aleii


End file.
